Tuesday, December 18, 2012

25 Fun Factoids from My First Year

1) I may be the one of the only Peace Corps Volunteers whose socios are so scared of her walking alone they nearly forbid it. Whoever thought of putting me in the Andes clearly never walked down the street with me.

2) I am paralyzing afraid of ledges because I am 99% convinced that I will fall off. Unfortunately I have to face this fear at least every 10 days and in the states ledges meant a building. Here ledges mean a mountain that if I fall off of I will plummet to my eminent death.

3) Flagging down a semi-truck on the side of the road is an acceptable form of transportation. Although I think of a 60 minutes special every time.

4) Tony from P90X has the worst fat kid syndrome known to man.

5) Having to travel 6 hours with a 3,000m altitude increase and no bathroom leads to the worst hangovers known to man.

6) Living with a parasite for 7 months is not necessarily the best idea.

7) Eating oatmeal off a Swiss Army Knife really means you should buy a spoon or a new host family.

8) Breast-feeding is not a private activity, it really means whipping out your boob at any given moment.

9) Hand washing your laundry makes you really appreciate washing machines and the magical way they get stains out.

10) Bucket bathing in your room is a complicate affair even for a coordinated person.

11) Repeating music is an acceptable thing. There is no problem listening to a Nicki Minaj song for 2 hours straight. Although playing “Starships” 97 times may be a bit excessive.

12) Food dreams are a real and crazy phenomenon. Dreams about running through a field raining Honey Nut Cheerios is one of the few.

13) Cutting your hair while angry and watching “The Wire” makes you look like you got ran over by a lawn mower. Thank god for curly hair.

14) Watching an entire series of a TV show is a feasible although disturbing act.

15) Realizing your monthly paycheck is about half of your monthly rent your senior year really puts things in perspective.

16) The concept of legroom is a myth.

17) Cold beverages make you sick, rainbows can get you pregnant, wind can cause stomach ailments, drinking Jello mix is good for your throat and mountains can make you sick and eventually kill you.

18) Going running once means that you go running everyday although people will comment that you are still as fat as the day you started running.

19) Saying this is the coldest I have been in my entire life every day really negates the point.

20) Stained or holey shirts are only ruined if you can’t hide the stain or hole with a carefully placed sweater.

21) Indoor heating was the greatest invention ever. Whoever thought of it should probably get a Nobel Prize. Also I feel bad for the heating bill when I finally have access to a thermostat.

22) Wearing different shades of all the same color is perfectly acceptable, as long as one item is either fleece or spandex.

23) Morning announcements exist outside of elementary school. And they must happen around 5:30am, just to make sure you are awake.

24) You only really need about 20 square feet to have a bedroom, kitchen, gym, closet, living room, and office all in one.

25) Cows are terrifying; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Also you have to cut off part of their horn in order to ensure that they grow.

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